I wrote this post a long time ago, when Grace was still a baby and her inch-long hair stood straight up, defying gravity, the way it does after rolling around on a trampoline. I never got around to publishing this, mainly because the two short people I live with work remotely from home, so they’re always hanging around barefoot, asking for apples and stuff. They have to be sliced a certain way.
But today is a special day because Graeme has taken both of them to town. I am enjoying the quiet, empty house, but I will be happy to see them when they get back, and they’ll be even more excited. One of the many benefits of homeschooling is that, since we’re always together, when we see each other again after being apart for more than 18 minutes, the reunion is so heartwarming you’d think we’re at Arrivals Gate C.
With the end of the year comes the theme of gratitude, and coincidentally, overeating as well, but that’s irrelevant at the moment. It won’t be irrelevant in January, though, when I will be forced to employ that ingenious pregnancy trick that involves a hair tie, tight jeans, and regrets.
This post is about my friend Danielle, and her husband Dan, too, but that would have been a very long title. I am grateful for them both.
I’m trying to be more like my friend Danielle. Her hair always looks good and her house is tidy. But what I admire the most about her is how good she is at being a friend. She also makes really good fish tacos with chipotles and sour cream. But I can’t have that now because my baby was making weird poops and I gave up dairy.
Anyway, Danielle is awesome at friendship. If I’m having a rough day, she won’t say, “let me know if there’s anything I can do.” Instead, she’ll come by with food. She dropped off a bouncy chair for baby Grace the same week I mentioned I needed one. When I told her we were looking for a bigger place to live, she found the house we live in now. And she didn’t just find it; she was involved in the whole remodeling process, making sure it was to our liking and ready to move into. Then, once we were here, she came over with gloves and rags and we cleaned the basement until our backs were sore. Dan came by to drop off In-N-Out burgers, because his love language is food and assistance.
Danielle’s love language is words of affirmation. I hope written words count because my thoughts flow better through my fingers than out my face. They flow especially well around midnight, which is rather inconvenient, and the reason why I don’t function very well in the mornings.
I have noticed some people get a bit tired of saying nice things about a friend, or run out of things to say, and instead of going on, they’ll say something like, “I could go on, but you get the idea” or, “I can’t even count the times…” But I will try to count the times. Because I’m not tired.
When Covid was still a new thing, Danielle shared six rolls of toilet paper with us before we had to decide which books we liked the least.
One time, Dan brought me Pho for no reason.
Danielle helped clean our basement. This deserves to be mentioned twice because it was NASTY.
After our baby was born, Graeme mentioned that my mom was coming to visit, so Dan offered to drive two hours to pick her up at the airport in San Francisco.
When it was time to take her back to the airport, he brought over his truck before 7 AM, in the rain, and we switched cars because our Jeep was being weird.
They also switched cars with us when my brother came to visit and we needed extra seating. And then they cleaned our car before returning it.
Forest was afraid of the pool until this last summer, when Dan swam and played with him.
Danielle spontaneously showed up with everything to make baked potatoes for dinner.
Dan finished installing the floor in our closet which the contractors had been too lazy to do. He also painted the grout in our bathroom before we moved in.
When Forest was having a hard time after baby Grace was born, they invited him over often, even though he was most definitely at his worst.
When I was pregnant, they took Forest and I to church with them, so we didn’t have to go alone when Graeme worked on Sundays.
Oh, this is a big one. Graeme’s aunt died and left a MESS for us to go through. It took us four days to clean out her apartment and garage. I was 98 weeks pregnant and on the last day, they traveled for two hours with their three boys to help clean up after a lady they never met. If they hadn’t come, it would have taken us an extra two days. It was Sunday and they worked non-stop all day. They also brought food, of course. Fun fact: Danielle kept a dictionary from Graeme’s aunt, and when one of her kids opened it a few days later, a hundred-dollar bill fell out.
Dan sat in the kitchen and made chicken salad sandwiches for my baby shower. They provided most of the food for that.
A few days before my due date, I picked up some food Danielle had made for us, and as I was getting back in the car to go home, she came out and asked if I wanted to borrow her slippers for a few weeks. She was going to let me take her SLIPPERS. I said no thanks, but smiled to myself as I drove home and thought about what a wonderful kind of person thinks to lend you her own slippers because the ones you got at Kohl’s were terrible. After baby Grace was born, she came by with a box of Costco slippers. Of course she did.
She set up a page for people to sign up to bring us meals.
We stayed two nights at their house back when our mattresses were still in the U-Haul.
Speaking of U-Hauls, Dan traveled to Kingsburg to help load the truck, and then unloaded it in Hughson.
Danielle picked me up for weeks to take me to a mom’s group in town. It took me a couple months to realize that she was already in town in the mornings, and would drive all the way back to my house, pick me up, and then head back to town again! And I thought we were saving the planet by carpooling. I put an end to that real quick. But she would have kept on picking me up forever.
If being friendly is a skill, the Cotas mastered it a long time ago. I’m trying to be more like them.
So today, we made and delivered dinner for some new friends. I wonder if their basement needs cleaning.
When was the last time you did something for a friend?
Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?
James 2:15-16
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