Teething Furiously

When I lived in Mexico, I knew a guy named Copernico (unfortunate) who never stopped growing teeth (very unfortunate).

At least once a year, he had to have a new tooth removed. He was a very chatty, hyper guy in his 30’s, but when he was teething, man, he could hardly talk from the pain. My mom drove him to the dentist once, where he got out his loyalty card and had the tooth pulled out for free.

Anyway, this guy and my baby have a lot in common right now. What used to be a pretty, round, happy thing is now a pretty, rounder, furious thing with swollen gums and thighs.

Here’s Baby Cookie in April:

And here she is, hating May:

It’s been so long since I lived with a seething, teething baby I can’t remember what I’m supposed to do.

To make things worse, she is also in that stage Graeme calls the “adult in a baby’s body,” like the SNL Beck Bennett skit in reverse. She watches Forest do all sorts of interesting things and hears him talk nonstop, and all she can manage to do is scream and get on her hands and knees to move her butt back and forth a little bit.

Sometimes she also does a really quick baby plank, to strengthen the core, which is also noticeably swollen and delicious. I bite her middle a little every day and she loves it, or at least used to. She doesn’t love anything right now.

Proverbs says wise people take advice, and I’m really tired and wise today, so if you have some good teething solutions I would be very grateful. If it’s particularly good advice, I’ll make sure to pass it on to the aforementioned unfortunate fellow.