Grace: A Home Birth Story

I did it. I can’t believe I did it.

I am having a tremendous high right now and I will forever remember this as one of my greatest accomplishments. I gave birth to Baby Cookie at home. I made it. It was so fast and so hard but I did it.

The Lord stood with me and gave me strength indeed.

On the night of October 16th, Graeme read Sherlock Holmes as had been our bedtime routine for a while. Sherlock meets with the wife of a man who has gone missing and asks her, “in your heart of hearts, do you believe your husband is alive?” Before turning the light off, Graeme asked, “in your heart of hearts, do you believe you will go into labor tonight?” I scoffed and we said goodnight. I was only at 39 weeks and Forest was born at 41. I wasn’t expecting anything to happen yet.

The lights had been off for about a minute when I felt a rush of warm liquid on my legs. I gasped and Graeme jumped to turn the light back on. He inspected my purple pajama pants, which were a few shades darker now.

We were excited and Graeme’s face was twitching in the happy way it does when he has a surprise for me, or I’m about to have a baby. I couldn’t help remembering my first attempt at a home birth and how, after laboring for 24 hours at home, we had gone to the hospital for an epidural.

“This is going to hurt.”

“Yeah, but you can handle it.”

Graeme got a burst of energy and started folding laundry and doing things around the house in preparation for the birth we thought would happen soon. I texted Rebekah (a friend and midwife) and Sheila (my doula) and they suggested I take a shower and go to sleep.

If it had been my first time doing this, I would have probably stayed up all night trying to get labor going, but since I knew (thought I knew!) what was coming, I went to bed.

The next morning, we walked into Forest’s room to tell him Baby Cookie was coming out today. He got very excited and reminded me there were some chones in the freezer for my sore booty. We had made padsicles a few weeks back.

Graeme’s energy level was much higher than usual, which was fun to watch. He kept coming in from the shop to check on me, hung wall decor, did laundry, made food I didn’t eat, and giggled nervously whenever we made eye contact.

I stayed in my pajamas all day, expecting contractions to start but just getting one here and there, all of them pretty mild. Forest did his usual little boy activities, which included picking flowers for me, and I tidied the house, had a nap, and some toast for lunch which I placed on this convenient shelf:

Pregnant women really do glow.

Around 5 PM, I got a strong contraction. Still manageable, but definitely not Braxton Hicks now. Forest was in the bath but I hadn’t washed him yet, so I called Graeme on the phone and he came in. I’m so glad his shop is just next door.

I rolled our blue exercise ball to our bedroom and sat down. Contractions were 4-5 minutes apart, but still very manageable and the breaks in between were wonderful. I texted Rebekah and Sheila at 6 PM, and told them not to head over yet. It took Forest 32 hours to come out and I was expecting a long labor again.

I was also texting my friend Danielle, who was making my belly shake like a bowlful of jelly. I wonder now how dilated I was by then. At 6:27, I asked Rebekah and Sheila to head over, mainly because Danielle seemed concerned that Rebekah wasn’t on her way yet.

Looking back now, if it hadn’t been for Danielle, Graeme would have probably caught the baby.

Forest went to bed at 7:45 and Graeme came to help me up. I held onto him as I had some good contractions in the hallway and in the bathroom, and then we headed back to bed where I labored in the dark. I was still getting really nice breaks and repeating Bible verses in my mind.

Sheila arrived and set me up with a thing that was supposed to distract me from contractions by making me feel like I was being electrocuted instead.

Suddenly, the breaks disappeared almost entirely and I started shivering. Instead of a rest, the intensity of each contraction would just decrease a little, so it felt like it was never really going away.

I hadn’t wanted to say it, but finally, in the middle of a particularly strong one, I half-growled:

“I CAN’T DO THIS!”

I knew women said this as they got close to the end, but I had just gotten started!

It was 8:45 when Rebekah knocked on the door and Sheila went to open it. I thought it was funny they met like this. They were supposed to meet the following day during what would have been one of my last prenatal appointments. I heard Shelly (a friend, and Rebekah’s assistant) introduce herself in a very low voice, and I remember thinking I was glad she came. Shelly lives really far away and has nine kids. This really was a special occasion.

Rebekah and Shelly went through the birth supplies in the living room as I waddled/limped/was half-carried to the bathroom farthest from Forest’s room. Still fully dressed. Just so you know.

Once in the bathroom, I felt like I needed to push. I got very calm and focused in between contractions, and started having long, wonderful breaks again. Rebekah came to see what was going on, and Graeme asked if we should set up the pool. She smiled and said there was no time for that.

She asked if I could feel the baby’s head. I felt around and said no, but then a second later, oh wait! I do feel a head! It was slippery, warm and hard, and just an inch or two away. WHAT.

Towels and chux pads were laid out on the floor and I got on my knees. Graeme sat on a bench and I rested my head on his lap. With the next contraction, I focused and pushed again. I could feel the baby moving down. I wanted to push some more, but Rebekah kept saying, “Let that one go. You don’t have to have a baby with this contraction.” By the way, Rebekah has the sweetest, most soothing voice in the history of midwives.

“You’re doing a great job, sweetie.”

So I would push a little, let go, wait. I reached down and felt my baby as her head came lower. It burned, but not as bad as I thought it would. Focus and determination override the pain at this point. A few pushes later, everyone cheered as her head came out. I have a really cool video of this you will never ever see.

With the next contraction, the rest of her body came out and it felt amazing. I feel a little sad for Graeme because he will never know how it feels to have a WHOLE PERSON come out of you. It’s awesome. So awesome I was in a blissful sort of shock for a few minutes.

Rebekah caught Baby Cookie and set her down on the towel under me. She was pink and slippery and warm. Both Graeme and Grace were crying now. I rubbed her pink, wet belly as she squirmed beneath me.

Afterwards, when I watched the video, I realized it took me about two minutes to pick her up. Which is really weird and it made me a little uncomfortable to watch (pick up the baby, lady!), but Rebekah told me later that’s pretty normal for home births. It takes a bit of time to recover and let the mind come back from the intensity of what just happened.

I had just started timing contractions around 6 PM, and now my little girl was resting on my soft, empty belly at 9:25! By the way, I checked to make sure she was a girl. She is the first girl after 6 boys in my family, so I wanted to be absolutely sure I had, indeed, produced a girl.

I’ve never been punched in the stomach before, but it probably feels like getting up from the floor after having a baby. Rebekah stayed with me while I showered and Graeme had some time alone with Baby Grace.

I got in bed and Rebekah checked the baby, weighed her, and set her on my chest. Rebekah, Shelly, and Sheila stood around, talking and marveling at how well everything turned out. This was the perfect birth you read about and hope for.