Country Garden Makeover

I got persnickety and insisted on having a perfectly flat garden, so Graeme sighed quietly in the way husbands do and we went to work leveling it out with screed boards, as if we were leveling out concrete. We definitely went overboard with the boards.

It was a lot of work, but the garden was perfectly flat. However, I don’t recommend this method unless you 1) really need to lose some weight, 2) have a very small area, or 3) don’t have a septic tank…but more on that later.

We installed the picket fence, and some borders for planting in, instead of raised garden boxes (very silly). The garden was looking much better by now and our muffin tops were slightly smaller. We put a lot of work into this. Here is the garden in 2019:

Looking good, yes? Almond trees in the background, rainbow in the sky…

BUT THEN.

One fateful day, our tub started gurgling.

Forest had been out of the shower for a few minutes when suddenly, a magnificent brown geyser shot out of the drain. It was a terrific sight. I would have appreciated it more if I didn’t live here.

A few days later, the septic tank was pumped and the leech line replaced (I’m still not sure what this means, but it sounds cool when I say it, like I know what I’m talking about). The entire garden was once again a heap of dirt, except now it was also stinky.

The only things that survived were the picket fence, and everything growing against it, except for one lime tree. We replaced it later and buried my placenta under it.

Like I said, nasty projects.

I went out there while the garden was being destroyed, with my big pregnant belly, a basket, and some scissors to cut as many zinnias as I could, in one last desperate attempt to save at least a bit of our work. The guy operating the tractor thought this was a very sad sight, took pity on the pregnant lady, and spared the zinnias.

The garden in this state was Forest’s favorite.

And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. The garden became a pile of dirt. The pile of dirt became a playground. And for two and a half thousand years (about ten months), the garden passed out of all knowledge.

But finally, one day I took it upon myself to level the ground again.

Graeme was busy making cabinets, so I went out there with Forest and Baby Cookie every day for several weeks to load wheelbarrows full of rocks and dirt and dump them out by the orchard.

Our neighbors have a cool little Bobcat that would have gotten the job done in a day, but I had fun doing this and it was good exercise. Graeme was very impressed, as well as his dad when he came to visit and saw all the dirt I had removed. I felt very proud of myself. And also very sore.

Towards the very end, Graeme went to get the Bobcat to remove the last bit of dirt. Look at this cool little thing. It’s basically a very large Lego.

After leveling, we built raised garden boxes. If you’re thinking about starting a garden, these are the way to go. I love them for several reasons:

1. They are just the right size. I can definitely maintain this area.
2. I can sit on the edge while weeding/setting up drip lines/having a thought about some stuff.
3. There is chicken wire at the bottom, so Gary Gopher won’t be able to eat our carrots this year.
4. We filled the boxes with good soil and compost, instead of hoping the existing dirt would do alright (it didn’t)

And this is where we are now! One thing that made a huge difference was paint. The garage and laundry room don’t look like something out of a scary movie anymore.

Graeme hung up some lights and now it’s wonderfully cozy out here in the evenings.

The berries have turned black in the last day or two. I have a really good recipe for blackberry pie, but Forest has other plans for them. They usually don’t make it past the front door.

What used to be a nasty, lumpy patch of dirt is now a garden with twenty fruit trees, veggies and herbs in raised garden boxes, lavender, blueberry bushes, elderberry, blackberry and raspberry vines, climbing sweet peas, beautiful citronella bushes, an indestructible hops vine, and a wide assortment of pretty flowers because Graeme has no self control when it comes to flowers. All of this is surrounded by a lovely white picket fence, nestled in the middle of an almond orchard.

Did you know we like white picket fences?

Now we’d like to replace the garage windows, plant grass, and hang lacy curtains in the laundry room.

But the garden is already beautiful the way it is, don’t you think?